Two weekend ago M's parents kept Noah while he and I hate a date. And not just dinner five minutes away. This was a date date. We went to Nashville, ate a delicious dinner, drank a quart of Sangria each, had wonderful conversation, and ended the night with a movie. We had such a good time. I made us promise to each other that we wouldn't go this long again without one.
I had fun getting dressed, too. Now that I've lost some weight, my clothes fit better and shopping isn't so frustrating. Earlier that week I had found some cute tops at Goody's (of all places- the only department-like store in our town without going to Nashville), and I was excited to wear one. The weather was still warm, so I ditched the heels for some sandals. Consider this my version of #ootd..."outfit of the date"!
Speaking of date nights, M & I had a little date-night-in (post to come!) over the weekend, chatting outside by the fire after Noah had gone to bed. We ended up talking about our marriage, comparing the first year and half to now. It's only been two and a half years since we've been married, although we've been together for ten. With the kind of perspective that all we've been through in our life together brings, we were able to admit that it's SO much better now. And then of course, we agreed through the list of whys. And that list got me thinking about all the things I wish I could go back and say to my newlywed self. Here's some of what I'd say...
Dear Kelsea,You're probably still reeling from the wedding and walking down the aisle to your man and feeling pretty in your dress and the honeymoon and moving and getting a job and all the rest of the amazing things that come with starting your life with someone. If only you knew the ringers you've got coming. Here are a few things you should probably take my advice on...1. Stop focusing on all the ways Michael can love you, and just focus on loving him.If you spend all your time dreaming about all the ways he should be loving you, you're going to be disappointed, and you'll miss out on all the ways he is showing you love.2. He's not perfect. Stop expecting him to be.He's going to mess up sometimes. He'll hurt your feelings and make you mad and occasionally get on your nerves. And that's okay. You won't feel those things forever. Most likely they'll be gone just as quickly as they came, or at least with a good night's sleep. That's the beauty of marriage..you choose to love and commit anyways, knowing that love is there, even when those other feelings cloud it out for a little.3. Speak positively ten times more than you do negatively.Sure, it's healthy to tell him when he's hurt you and what he's done. Do that. But if that's the only thing he hears from you, it will wear him down. He needs to hear when you're proud of him, when you're appreciative of his hard work, when you admire the way he can fix anything and knows just about anything, or when you think his butt looks sexy in those jeans. He needs to hear all of that way more often than he does the things you think is wrong with him.There will be times you're angry, disappointed, deeply hurt, and yep, you'll even question your sanity when you thought this was a good idea. You won't always admire everything he does, but you'll have moments in which he does something that reminds you of why you love him in the first place. You're going to watch him grow, watch him change, watch as he becomes an amazing daddy, and life will ebb and flow.Remember- life won't be perfect, marriage is crazy hard, love is worth it.Love,A slightly wiser yourself
What about you? What are some things you wish you could go back and tell the you of the past?