Sep 12, 2013
I can't remember a time I didn't feel insecure about something. It's not an easy thing to live with, insecurity....always feeling bad about yourself or feeling like your flaws are on display for the entire world. Most of the times my insecurities are unfounded. If I dig deeper, I realize that a) it's all about perception and b) everyone has flaws.
I've had to remind myself of these two things even more frequently now that I'm integrated into the world of social media. First it was just Facebook. And everyone has an opinion about everything on Facebook. Your picture or status either gets enough likes to satisfy you or none at all. And it doesn't stop with Facebook. No, it's moved to Instagram, Twitter, and all the other crazy apps out there designed to connect you with others and help you share bits and pieces of your life. For me, the bits and pieces are what it's all about. I love getting to share pictures of Noah, or fun things we've been up to lately. I enjoy sharing parts of our lives with old and new friends. These apps are also outlets of creativity and act as personal statements, in a way.
But lately I've found that the more people I follow, the more dissatisfied and insecure I can become about my own life. I see creative posts and pictures and suddenly mine feel bland or uncreative. I see beautiful women and their #ootd posts and start to feel bad about myself because I haven't managed to put makeup on for the day or can't go buy a brand new wardrobe. I see bloggers becoming friends and leaving comments and suddenly my blog seems uninspiring and boring.
As ridiculous as this sounds, this is what social media becomes for me if I'm not careful. I'm constantly having to remind myself that what I'm seeing is just that- bits and pieces. I'm not seeing the whole picture, the whole woman, the whole day, the whole story. I'm seeing a fragment of what goes on. It is so easy, whether on purpose or without meaning to, to make your life appear like anything you want it to be. So while I'm reminding myself to stay down-to-earth and not try to display myself on social media as something I'm not, I'm also constantly reminding myself that "being myself" means being okay with who I am, even if the woman in the picture does have it all together, and is beautiful, and has a wonderful life. Because her wonderful life doesn't make mine any less wonderful, too.