This has been a crazy past two weeks, let me tell you. It started with a phone call from Michael's boss, telling him that he was accepted to move engineering groups within his company. They've been doing some major restructuring and as a result, some openings became available and Michael was allowed to pick his top three. He got his top choice, like we were hoping he would. Because of this...
I can't even wrap my head around it right now. Before I get ahead of myself, I'll start at the beginning. Michael was offered the job he has now right out of college. It was such a blessing to us and came at the perfect time- we were about to get married and start our life together. This job moved us eight hours away from our family and it was the best thing that we could have done. A weird factor to this job was that the place where Michael was hired to work was scheduled to shut down by 2015. So from the very beginning, we knew that this was not the town where we would settle down. We really weren't sure what would happen, but after a little while with the company, Michael was at least confident that his job, regardless of the plant shutting down, is a sure thing.
We've spent the last two years not really being able to plan long term and knowing in the back of our minds that this town isn't where we would settle down. We rented for a year hoping to hear more about what would happen, but the only information that came was a pushing back of the shut down date, meaning we'd be here even longer. There were a few times things were supposed to change, but they didn't. After renting a year, finding out we were pregnant, and accepting that we might be here longer than we anticipated, we decided to buy a home. We fell in love with a little house closer to town on a half acre lot and put in a quick offer. We moved in, settled ourselves, and prepared to be a family of three.
We've lived in this house for a little over a year now, and up until a couple months ago, thought we'd be here at least a few more years. I had finally accepted this and had opened myself up to friendships and had begun to put myself out there for play-dates and meet-ups and lunches. And we've grown to love it here. It has finally begun to feel like home. Then about two months ago, rumors of restructuring within the company were proved to be truth, and we spent that time knowing change was coming, but still not being sure what exactly that change would bring. This kind of describes our time in Tennessee- making a life in spite of the unknown.
A few weeks ago Michael had a chat with his boss during which his boss unofficially confirmed that he was chosen for his top choice position. His top choice that would put us around four hours closer to family, making it a three and a half hour drive home instead of eight. This is exactly what we had been hoping all along. This is exactly what family and friends had been praying for for us, that we'd somehow make it closer to home. This is what I had prayed for in the middle of those teary moments of missing my family and wishing they were a hop, skip, and jump away.
We were thrilled with the news, but tried not to get our hopes up too much in case it didn't work out. Nevertheless, we began to dream together. We've spent almost every evening these past few weeks talking about selling, and moving, and buying, and what this means for us, and the kind of house we want. We've browsed realtor sites and made lists and planned. This past Thursday Michael got the official word and called me while I was in town to share the news.
This is such a roller coaster of a time. On one hand, we are thrilled to be moving closer to family. We'll be in the mountains and closer to the type of land and activities we both love. On the other hand, we had finally come to accept this place as our home and decided that we were perfectly content here.
Isn't it funny that sometimes you fight and hold back and ask questions and beg God for change, but he sometimes doesn't give it to you until you've accepted that He may not?
Since living here we've made a few good friends and are close to some extended family. We've enjoyed spending time with them and being close. In the past six months we've gotten to know a wonderful group of people who feel so much like family even though we've not even had much time together. I've made a wonderful, sweet friend whose heart mine immediately connected with. I'm in tears as I write this part, because as much as I know this is what we want, this moving, there's a part of me that is sad we're leaving. I'll miss my friend dearly. I'll miss these connections. I'm sad that their lives will go on, and I won't get to be a part of that up close.
I think it's finally starting to sink in. In the car today I pictured us pulling out of our driveway for the last time and it made me cry. I want to write more on some memories later, but for now I am so thankful for all of this. For lessons learned, and lessons that will be learned by looking back on the time we've had in this little town. For a God who knows what He's doing with us.
It feels a bit like I'm standing on a high dive, waiting to just fall into the water below. And that water consists of selling a house, taking care of the details, and starting from ground zero with trying to find a place to live in a new town, with new people. The water consists of dealing with the hard task of leaving friends and a place that has the memories of becoming a mama and family of three for the very first time.
We don't really know anything at this point. We don't know when we're moving (we're assuming by October 4th when the restructuring will take place), we don't know where we'll live, and we don't know if we will sell our house. When I put it that way, I start to freak out a little bit. But I'm trying to remember to stay calm, to trust, and to surrender. Some of the next steps consist of putting our house on the market, discussing the best next step financially, and looking for a place to live in our new town. We've got some big dreams for the future and this feels like we're right at the beginning. There are so many possibilities ahead of us, and that's a little bit scary. Starting over isn't always easy, but so much good can come from it, and we can't wait to see what happens next.