real and raw | how far?

Jul 25, 2013

It takes a lot to bare it all on a blog. It takes being okay with people in your "real life" knowing what is going on when you share posts that are real and raw. It takes being okay with people in the blog world seeing a part of you that they may not like, or may disagree with. It's not easy to know exactly how much to give and how much to hold back.

There are times I'm dying to get real in hopes that others are either comforted, inspired, or can comfort or inspire me. Sometimes I just need to get it out before my heart explodes. Those are the posts that make your heart come up in your throat as you click "Publish". There are other times I intentionally hold back to respect someone in my life or keep boundaries in place where they're needed the most.

There are posts that I wish I could share with you all out in the blogging world, but keep from a handful of people in my "real life". But then I think that, aside from necessary boundaries, it's unhealthy in a way. What if we just got to the point as a society where it was okay when someone said, "You know I'm not okay". How much pain could we avoid if we simply let what was in our heart out and quit getting dressed up everyday in our favorite masks.

What if instead of a bunch of people walking around protected behind their masks, there were a bunch of people walking around being real with each other and accepting that it's not always perfect or pretty and loving each other still.  For me, at least, the real and raw posts I've ever shared have been worth it  no matter how emotionally hard they are to put into words.

At least for me, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not being honest with myself or others if I'm not communicating what's on the inside. Sometimes that means resistance from others, but sometimes I come across those who accept that not everything needs to look okay and bare their burdens, however different they may be, as they walk beside me. And that makes it worth it.

What is your policy on "baring it all"? Do you think there are limits, or do you think it's helpful to be 100% transparent about your life and struggles? Do you think it's important to be absolutely real, no matter how imperfect it looks?


  1. I think there's a fine line between sharing and overstaring. I never want to over share about my family or my kid because I like having SOME kind of privacy. But I also think its important to be real sometimes and show others that life isn't always perfect because sometimes blogs only show the perfect things.

  2. i think it takes a lottt of courage to bare your feelings to people you're not super close with. it's just so vulnerable because you don't know if their reaction would make it better or make you feel worse. but i think if people started doing it a bit more often, people as a whole would start learning to be more empathetic and caring, which we definitely need!

    xo marlen
    Messages on a Napkin

  3. I think as a blogger we all struggle with this. What's appropriate? What's too much? I feel the same way about sometimes wanting to keep my thoughts from a few "in real life" people, but ok with putting it out there for a world of strangers. It's something that those without blogs probably don't get. I get nervous posting personal things, but then I wonder what's the point of even having a blog if I'm not going to be honest about what I'm dealing with. It's a constant inner battle.

  4. I hope things get better <3 , I love honest posts like this because it reminds us all how similar we are, and how everyone struggles.

  5. I definitely feel the same way. Sometimes I must write it out: it helps me process and come up with solutions as I think about what I write. Sometimes, it's cathartic. I don't share near as much heart as I used to, when I first started blogging. But sometimes being REAL is a good way to connect with your readers on more than a superficial level. I definitely draw a line when it comes to sharing things that might hurt someone else's feelings if they read it. And there are some family things that I hold close to my heart and only share with my very closest friends: they will NEVER come up on the blog.

  6. Well, for me, there are just some things that are NOT for everyone to know and there are some things that NO ONE should know. But, like someone else said, I never want to appear as though my life is perfect and I do share that I am struggling, just not always what I'm struggling with. I guess it's a personal matter for all of us. Sweetest blessings to you!

  7. I agree with Lea on the above comment... I think there are some things that people "shouldn't know." But it depends on the blogger too if her outlet is really her blog. On days that I am "not okay," I turn off my computer and bare it all to my husband or close friends.

  8. For me, this all comes down to 'why does one blog?' I think some people like keeping that facade up and acting like everything is perfect 100% of the time. That's what they like portraying, for whatever reason. I blog because it's my outlet. That's not to say I don't have a filter. There are definitely time's I'd like to post to blog-land and keep my real life people out of it. But I don't because in that moment maybe I'm just upset and wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings without talking to them directly. I just write it out but wait to share. Sometimes just typing it is just as cathartic. There is a fine line between being real, wearing a mask and just ranting. But for me, it's important to share the peaks AND the valleys. That's reality.

    Great post!! Thank you so much for the kind words on my breastfeeding diary at Julies blog! You are so sweet!!

  9. Love that thought on your's such a shame that we get to a point in our lives that we have to censor who we are and how we feel...But sometimes I guess it really is necessary. To protect someone avoid causing a rift. hmm.

    I think ultimately though, as long as whatever you DO choose to write is 100% real. honest and authentic, then really, that's all you could hope for, no? xo [found you throgh Casey's link-up - about to have a poke around now!!]