How's Mama? I'm feeling WAY more tired recently. Right around 10:30 every morning I feel like I need to go back to bed. I think this has to do with the heat and not having enough water at some times, but I'm really trying to take it easy and drink a TON of water.
I also made "the leap". M and I have always planned for me to stay at home with our kids and two weeks ago I took one more step towards that and put in my notice at work. More on that later, but I feel so blessed by God to be able to make this a reality.
Also, we've had our third natural birth class this week. It is geared towards the midwife patients and focuses mainly on natural child birth and alternative pain relief. Most of the couples in the class have the same desires I do for birth. I can't tell you how annoyed, hurt, or discouraged I've been with comments I get when I explain why we're seeing a midwife or the choices I'm trying to make for a natural, intervention/drug free birth. I don't know if people get offended because that's not the way they did it or if they think I'm being critical of them, but it's to the point where I just downright avoid talking about it because I don't want to have the same discussion over and over again or hear the same comments.
I feel like I can't fully discuss the reasons behind my decisions with some women because those reasons are the opposite of what many have chosen, which leaves me having to explain why I won't be doing it that way. And because I haven't "been there, done it", I suppose women feel they can mock or scoff even more because "girl, you'll see when you get there. You're going to be begging for that epidural" or "yeah, you say that now but you'll be telling the doctor, get this thing out of me". Really? Really?!
I try to educate people on the benefits of why I'm choosing a certain way (when the conversation naturally leads to that point by their questioning) , but they can't see past their own experience to try to encourage me or even wish me the best. I know that things may not go the way I am hoping and that sometimes we can't control all of the circumstances, but I have personally come to the place where I am okay with that. I will have tried my best and if intervention is absolutely necessary, I will accept that and be happy that my baby was first and foremost delivered alive and breathing into this world.
This week, we discussed how labor is one of the only times in life when we experience pain that does not result in injury (although sometimes there are complications beyond our control- fetal distress, etc). It is our body's way of letting us know what it needs at that particular time- whether it be different positioning, etc. So instead of being focused on THE PAIN and working myself up to be scared of it, I'd like to focus on letting it guide me to bringing Noah into the world. There are many times when some of the measures we take to try to prevent the pain actually end up causing it to be worse.
Anyway, all that aside, I really felt relief in those first few minutes of our first birth class and feel like it is a safe place that I can discuss hopes and fears and not feel pressure from others to do things a certain way, or receive ridicule for the choices I want to make. I really look forward to the next few classes and really am going to try to focus on making it a learning, growing experience.