One of those weeks...

Oct 20, 2010

 Ever have one of those weeks where you wish you could just rewind time? If I could, I'd go back to about Friday. From then on, I'd keep my big mouth shut. 


Lately, and I think it may come with PMS, I've been just saying things without thinking about the consequences. Worse than that, I haven't been understanding enough of how my words, no matter how well-meaning (or honestly, sometimes out of anger), would be taken by others in light of certain situations until after the fact. 


I struggle with my words. I'm pretty opinionated and quite outspoken. I consider those qualities to be both downfalls and strengths for me. 


I consider them strengths because I like that I know what I believe or think about most subjects and am not afraid to speak up for myself or someone else. In a conversation, I don't mind speaking up on a topic I disagree with if I know my facts and can support my belief. 


At the same time, I consider them weaknesses when I allow them to overpower my judgement and empathy. Most of the time, if I strongly think it - I'm going to eventually say it. 


Sometimes, that's okay. There are times to speak up. There are times to not back down and say what you think or feel. These past few days have NOT been some of those times...


Without divulging much detail, I'll tell you that most of the struggle in the past couple days has really been because I haven't used wisdom or discernment in choosing not only the words to say, but if I should say them at all. About 90% of the time this past week, I should have kept my thoughts to myself. 


Instead, I just spewed out mostly harsh words and expected them to be taken well. My heart hurts thinking about the hurt I've caused in those close to me. I also feel pretty foolish after the fact when I realize just how out of place my words were at the time.  


It's in those times that I'm reminded just how much spiritual maturity I'm lacking and my need for daily focus in the Word. 


Christ calls me to more than that. 


Proverbs 12:18
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. 


Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.


Proverbs 10:19
When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.


Proverbs 15:4
A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.


In my journey to surrender to and emulate Christ, my words should be the key indicator of what is in my heart. If hostility, anger, and pride is what is coming out of my mouth in those tough situations- I have some deep soul-searching and prayer to do this week. 

2 comments:

  1. Lord, do I have the same problem. I too consider those qualities to be both my greatest strength and most detrimental weakness. It's so great that you recognize when it happens, though - that you aren't too prideful to admit it. I struggle with even admitting that I COULD have hurt someone with my words.

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  2. wow. I understand all too well what you are going through sis. Just stay firm and don't let it stray you from seeking the love of GOd. He will give you the words to heal and mend whatever was or was not broken whether a relationship or a part of you. We are not perfect but we are CALLED to surrender those things which are not of GOD. He is only showing you something you need to work on out of love :).. Love you

    ♥cheche

    p.s. and thank you

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